So I went back to the hospital yesterday to get the stitches cut off and to see how my puppies were doing. As we all know I'm not a fan of hospitals and I'm not a fan of early mornings... So after my peppermint tea to start the day I'm pumped and ready for them.
So we have the normal procedure of talking about my boobs... I seem to be the tit of all jokes at the moment ;) HA They took the bandages off my fake boob, I hate this bit it's always painful as fuck. The scaring is healing up real good... They do the normal chit chat whilst I'm there topless with two people I have never met before as we wait for my main doctor / surgeon who has carried out all the procedures on my breasts to check them out.
So we evaluate my boobs... The non fake one has a fuck load of scaring on it however the doctor has recommended some good silicone strips for it... This is good news as I feel my as though this boob feels a bit left out as there is no silicone in it now it will have a silicone moustache! :D The zombie boob will live on!
So then we talk about the new addition to the family... The fake one. The scaring is to a bear minimal! still a bit swollen ect but its looking good.
I was suppost to have another operation on my nipple, but I was having thoughts...
So I have this operation on my nipple and I get really bad scaring (like on my other breast) and what difference is it going to make? where the implant has been put in the nipple is pretty much in line with the other one... it just looks a little different.
But then there is the old age question... What is normal?
The in differences in people and in perfections is to me what real beauty is.
So after a talk with the doctor I've decided not to have anymore operations (well for 10 years, fake boobs don't last forever) She was happy with the results and then was happy to discharge me :D
NO MORE OPERATIONS!
I can't tell you how happy I am that this is pretty much all over... Wait a minuet... My doctor has been taking photograph evidence of my progress since day 1 when I first went to see her... Normally the pictures are just taken with a cam in her office... But shes asked me to go to and get my pictures taken in some photograph ward in the hospital... SO I agreed to it not really knowing what the fuck it was, she gives me a card and sends me on my way.
So I walk down the corridor find the unit and go in. Its a fucking photograph studio.
So I give the lady my card and I wait she takes me into the studio and shuts the door... She asks me to take my top and my bra off and stand on the X in the middle... I felt like I was about to audition for some dodgy porno shoot... All in good taste though ;)
The lights are on me and it reminded me of one of those photograph places you go and get that cheesy picture of you and your family. So I do it I take off my top and bra and strike a pose!
I haven't even seen my tits myself yet and I'm already doing topless photo shoots? WTF? HA
Luckily these pictures of my breasts are of use for only medical purposes, Non of these Lianna exposed stories will be popping up on the Internet just yet ;)
So I'm standing there as she was getting different angles of my breast, most importantly of course... the side boob ;) And I had another breakthrough of confidence, I'm no super model but I felt proud that I was able to stand there whilst she took pictures of me topless... A few years ago not one person had seen me topless... Now I was getting pictures taken by a stranger?
Sorry to disappoint there will be no other topless photo shoots, That was for medical reasons... but at least I can tick that box now ;)
But the was a big step for me to be able to do that.
So I get home and now its time for me to see my boobs for the first time... :D I can't tell you how happy I am, I feel like a real woman. I can go and buy bras and actually get fitted!
At 23 to say that it will be the first time I can go buy a bra that fits properly... its a big thing.
This whole thing has changed me completely for the better
The reason why I started this blog was for awareness, self release and to make a difference. By sharing all of this will the world I hope I have changed some peoples views and helped people who have had similar experiences
There is so much pressure put on females in today's society to look good and but FUCK society... its about whats on the inside... The most beautiful people are the ones who make a difference, no the ones who spend all day looking in the mirror and making them selves look 'perfect' THERE IS NO PERFECT. We should all love ourselves for who we are... I knew that before but after all of this it has set it in stone in my head.
I'm not here to please other people with the way I look, I don't give a fuck... If you don't like it DON'T LOOK! like I've said before we all have our hang ups but we have to stop worrying about them and go and enjoy life.
So whats the future for me huh?
I have a rest of a wee while longer, No heavy lifting all that kind of shit... I've got another week of work to recover then it's bass playing time. :D
This isn't the last you will hear from me... I am sorting out a fundraiser for a breast charity for August time... So watch this space.
Over and OUT!